and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize