I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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