There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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