please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.