even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
