Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we're so committed to being not committed
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