i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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