im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
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Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
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Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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