hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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