eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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