is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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