There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize