p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
