New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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