we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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