my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize