It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
don't judge my taste in strippers
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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