also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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