that's an acceptable place to lick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
