i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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