My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
