I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
