He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
