Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Send help, water and tortillas.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
