I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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