I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
