Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize