Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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