Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
nutella sex= disaster
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
