Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ladies don't puke and tell
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
