then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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