Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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