this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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