I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
