8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
