that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
