You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
