yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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