don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.