yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
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This is my life. Enjoy the view
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?