How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
