If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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