i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
