I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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