I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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