do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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