Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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