I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
