While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist