i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and she was petting her beer can
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
