Just fell off a train. Bad.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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