Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
