You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
